Dinner with Kneff
by Dougie Zerts
Summary: This is a companion to my earlier "Escape the Apartment" story. The Smarts have dinner with the man who kidnapped them, and he explains why he did it.


Max and 99 went to a mansion in Chevy Chase MD, a suburb of Washington DC. They rang the doorbell. It was answered by a butler.

"May I help you?"

"Good evening," said Max. "We are Mr and Mrs Maxwell Smart. We have a 7:00PM dinner date with Mr Boris Kneff."

"Ah, yes. He's expecting you. This way, please."

The inside was as magnificent as the outside. He led them into a library room with a mini-bar.

"The master will be here, shortly. Meanwhile, would you like drinks?"

"A whiskey sour, please," said 99.

"Very good. And you, Mr Smart?"

"Scotch and water, please."

"Yes, sir."

He went to the bar and made the drinks. Then he gave them to them and said, "Will that be all, for now?"

"Yes, thank you," said 99.

"Very good." He left.

They sipped their drinks. Max looked at the books on the shelves.

"Quite an impressive collection of murder mysteries."

"All first editions," a voice said. Their host had come in. He was a handsome man in a black suit. He spoke with a slight German accent.

"You must be Boris Kneff," said Max.

"At your service, Mr Smart." He shook his hand. "And you must be99. You're even lovelier than I thought you'd be!" He kissed her on the cheek. "I see you already have drinks. Dinner will be ready in a few minutes.

"Why did you kidnap us?," demanded Max.

"Please, let's not talk about that, yet. Let's wait until we start eating."

"Yes, that's fine," said 99.

"But-"

"-Max!"

"Er, it can wait until dinner. Sorry about that!"

Boris smiled. "That's better!"

Soon afterwards, the butler came into the room. "Dinner is served."

The dining room was a true banquet hall. It had a long table and beautiful crystal chandeliers on the ceilings.

Boris sat at the foot of the table. Max and 99 sat together to his right, 99 to the right of her husband.

A bottle of wine was there. The butler uncorked it and poured some in Boris' glass. He drank it and nodded. The butler filled his glass then filled their glasses.

"Bordeaux 1925," he said. "To a successful escape."

They saluted and drank.

Soup and an appetizer were first served. They ate and drank, while engaging in small talk.

And then, the main dish came—lobsters.

"These are my weakness," said Boris. "I have them brought in fresh once a week from Maine."

"They taste wonderful," said 99.

"Yes, they are delicious," said Max.

"And now, we shall discuss business. You remember the letter I left for you, when you first woke up in the apartment?"

"Yes," said 99.

"It said you wanted to test us?," said Max.

"That's right. I've been watching the pair of you. You're good. And I might like to use you."

"Use me?," they both said together.

"That's right. You see, a man like me has many enemies. I'm sure you've heard the expression 'industrial espionage.'"

"Of course," said 99.

"And you'd like us to help you, in that regard."

"That's right, Mr Smart."

"We're CONTROL agent; we don't do freelance."

"Suppose I was to offer you $5,000 per mission?"

"A very tempting offer, Boris."

99 frowned. She kicked Max on the leg with her shoe-less left foot!

"But I don't think so," he said.

She smiled and caressed his leg with her foot!

Perhaps I should mention that one of my enemies is one of your enemies."

"You mean KAOS?"

"That's right."

"That does change things a bit, eh 99?"

"Yes, it does."

"And also Thad and I are good friends."

"Thad—Thaddeus?," said Max.

"The Chief?," said 99.

"The very same."

"That changes things even more!," said Max. "How about this: We will do a mission for you if the Chief approves of it. Does that sound acceptable to you, 99?"

"Yes, it does, Max."

"Excellent!," said Boris.

"Is there a job you want us to do, right now?"

"No, there isn't, Max. This is merely for future reference." He refilled their glasses. "To a potentially profitable partnership."

They saluted and drank.

"So, am I forgiven for my little kidnapping?"

"I'm willing to forgive you. How about you, Max?"

"Well. . . you did give us $1,000, not to mention this exquisite dinner. So, yes, I forgive you."

"Wonderful! By the way, which one of you recovered the screwdriver from the hot tub?"

"I did," said 99.

"With your clothes on?"

"Of course."

He chuckled. "If you had looked in the closet of that room, you would have found a bathing suit you could have worn. I had male and female suits."

She groaned. He and Max laughed!

"One question, though," said 99, after the laughter died down. "How long were you going to keep us there?"

"Until the evening. I came by at 5:00PM. If the box was still up front, I would have opened the door and let you two out. Of course, I would have been very disappointed in the two of you."

"Of course," said Max.

The rest of the meal was spent in idle chit chat. Desert was serviced—chocolate mousse—and along with it they each had a glass of Canadian ice wine.

At 9:00, the Smarts were ready to leave. They got up and Boris led them to the font door.

"So, if I have need of you, I will contact Thad, and he, in turn, will contact you."

"That's acceptable," said Max. "And thank you for a wonderful evening."

"Yes, this evening was incredible," said 99.

"I anticipate more of them with the two of you," said Boris.

He shook Max's hand and kissed 99 on the cheek, and they left.


End file.
